Loop
by deanpala
Summary: Lanyon wakes up in his bed. He's certain he had just died. A time loop fic


Lanyon woke up in his bed.

This obviously wasn't unusual, but he remembered for a fact he had just died after weeks of weakening.

It caused him a great deal of confusion until the next day when he found Utterson at his door asking if Lanyon knew anything about this Cardew thing and if he knew anything about Jekyll and Hydes relationship?

"Stay away from Jekyll and do not look into this Hyde business."

He refused to talk on the matter any further than that and refused to see or speak of Jekyll for any reason.

When Hyde appeared at his door asking for help he turned him away. He was not expecting to be stabbed.

The last thing he heard was a guttural low voice saying "oh god what have I done? Lanyon I-"

Then he woke up again.

He thought perhaps if he couldn't just avoid Jekyll he could keep everything the same up to the point he died, and he wouldn't die of shock this time, because he already knew Henry's secret.

And it worked, it worked up to the point when Hyde took over and killed both himself and Jekyll. Say what you will about his anger told Jekyll, but he didn't wish him to die.

He stayed at Uttersons so he could read the suicide note as well.

When he found himself in his bed the next day he let out a cry of anger.

"I'm sorry but master Jekyll has stressed the importance of no one seeing him today and-"

"Get out of the way Poole. This isn't some nicety, it's an urgent matter of the upmost importance."

He pushed his way past the servant and into Jekylls laboratory.

"Hatsie? What are you doing here I specifically ordered Poole to not let anyone in-"

"Don't take it."

"I beg your pardon?"

"Do not take the potion. Do not become Hyde tonight."

"I haven't the slightest idea what you're talking about."

Henry was apparently trying to keep up the charade, and Lanyon would have none of it. He handcuffed him to the table.

"Lanyon what are you doing? Let me go this instant!"

"No."

"Lanyon think about what you're doing!"

"I have thought about it long and hard and I am not getting it wrong again."

"You've gone mad!"

"It doesn't matter damn it! Just swear you won't take it! It's of the utmost importance and a mans life is on the line, swear to me you won't take it! Just drink to much or go to a brothel like everyone else does! You don't need some- some-

Monster or alter ego or whatever he is! Stop it with the act! I will not watch you ruin your life again!"

"... What do you mean again?"

"You wouldn't believe me."

"You are accusing me of being two people and murdering someone, if you think I can do or believe that, then I should be able to believe anything."

"... Fine. Its not like it matters anyway. I'm reliving the same... Well the time varies, but it always comes back to today. I'm 90% sure it has to do with you."

Jekyll looked slightly skeptical but didn't voice any doubts. "And how do you know it focuses on me?"

"The first time around I died from shock when I learned that you were Hyde, then I refused to help him turn back to you and you fucking stabbed me, THEN I did everything the same as the first time except dying of shock. You got stuck as Hyde and suspicions were risen. You or he or whatever didn't want to go to jail and committed suicide. I woke up back here again and now here we are."

"Do you have any proof?"

"'The most racking pangs succeeded: a grinding in the bones, deadly nausea, and a horror of the spirit that cannot be exceeded at the hour of birth or death. Then these agonies began swiftly to subside, and I came to myself as if out of a great sickness. There was something strange in my sensations, something indescribably new and, from its very novelty, incredibly sweet. I felt younger, lighter, happier in body; within I was conscious of a heady recklessness, a current of disordered sensual images running like a mill-race in my fancy, a solution of the bonds of obligation, an unknown but not an innocent freedom of the soul. I knew myself, at the first breath of this new life, to be more wicked, tenfold more wicked, sold a slave to my original evil; and the thought, in that moment, braced and delighted me like wine. I stretched out my hands, exulting in the freshness of these sensations; and in the act, I was suddenly aware that I had lost in stature.' Any of that sound familiar? Or do you plan on keeping the act up?"

Jekylls face dropped from his carefully indifferent 'you're crazy' expression to a tired, yet bewildered one. "By God you actually know. Very well I give, you are correct I am Hyde. How did you know?"

"Did you not listen to anything I said? I've seen you change before my eyes twice and you wrote that entire thing in your suicide note. Well, not your suicide note, but you knew that it was the last time you could be Jekyll."

"I don't believe I would stab you under any circumstances but you have convinced me on all other accounts. I will not be taking the potion now or ever again. Now would you kindly unhandcuff me? It's rather unpleasant."

"One moment."

Lanyon threw all the salts into the fire place (despite Jekylls sound of protest) and released him.

Jekyll kept true to his word and didn't even attempt to recreate the potion and slowly over time Lanyon began to trust him again.

Then a year later, with no potion to assist him, Hyde broke free and set London aflame.

New loop. Get up, keep Danvers out of the street. A young maid gets stabbed instead and nothing changes.

New loop. Keep Hyde occupied to keep him from being able to murder anyone. Hyde is impatient and stabs him instead.

New loop. Utterson gets to curious to fast. Him and Hyde die twice as soon as they were supposed to.

New loop. He admits his feelings for Jekyll who says he can't risk his reputation. He doesn't know why reputation is worth a damn when no one will remember anyway.

New loop. He goes first, and falling feels like flying. It's not the first time it's happened but the look of terror and sadness in Jekylls eyes fill him with joy.

New loop. Killing Jekyll before he kills Danvers does nothing but break his heart.

New loop. He refuses to leave his house for anything and looses track of the days. He finds himself starting over anyway.

Fuck it, he decides, he doesn't know enough to deal with the situation. If he wants to problem

solve he has to understand the problem. He's a scientist damn it, he should be looking into this already.

He waltzes straight into Jekylls lab and doesn't even bother with Poole.

"Hatsie? What are you doing here I specifically ordered Poole to not let anyone in-"

He doesn't listen and downs the potion himself.

He's never felt so free before, and he doesn't even bother trying to learn anything that could end this. Not only is there no reputation to be worried about, there are no consequences. He realizes how easy it is to separate ones bad deeds from themself and how the most terrifying thing is the lack of consequences. Nothing he does matters.

Despite being the original, Jekyll is shocked at his horrid deeds and refusal to resist temptation all 12 loops he does it with only 3 being for actual research.

He can't find it in himself to care anymore.

He thinks he finally figured it out. He can't even believe it, doesn't want to hope.

He didn't think he had any hope left.

He is well used to marching into Jekylls lab by now.

The handcuffs are pretty par for the course as well at this point.

"Lanyon what are you doing? Let me go this instant!"

He didn't answer and started digging through the beakers.

"Lanyon think about what you're doing!"

He wastes no time in putting it to Jekylls lips and forcing him to drink it, and Hyde immediately tries to attack him.

"It's alright, get it out of your system."

It took three hours for Hyde to exhaust himself (Lanyon had Poole locked out of the room and could only hope he wouldn't go to jail for this, but at this point who cared) before Lanyon forces another potion down his throat and made him Jekyll again.

"Feeling better now?"

"Why... Would you do that to me? How did you know."

"Ah yes. How I know is a story for a later time but as for why... He needed out, repressing yourself-"

"That is NOT me-"

"Stop lying to yourself, you aren't fooling anyone. It is a part of you that can not be denied. To deny your own human nature is to make yourself mad and wild."

"I don't understand. Why would you do that to me?"

Lanyon sighed. Some people never learned.

"Henry, there is a balance to life. You can not live a life of denying every desire. If you do they will still show themselves later, you will simply have less control over them. You must lighten up a bit. Now, would you like to get absolutely plastered with me?"

"But... My reputation..."

"Oh for- fuck your reputation. Me and you are going to have fun and not worry you're going to like it. Honestly you are the only person who is in so much denial they need to make an alter ego to have any fun."

~~~the only way to get rid of temptation is to yield to it- Oscar Wilde~~~


End file.
